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mfbggh · Wysłany: Śro 12:05, 14 Lut 2007 Temat postu: bpmspp

Gość · Wysłany: Pon 22:26, 12 Lut 2007 Temat postu:

Gość · Wysłany: Pon 13:23, 12 Lut 2007 Temat postu:

Gość · Wysłany: Nie 12:37, 11 Lut 2007 Temat postu:

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Gość · Wysłany: Sob 12:09, 10 Lut 2007 Temat postu:

Gość · Wysłany: Pią 13:51, 09 Lut 2007 Temat postu:

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1259 · Wysłany: Wto 20:36, 06 Lut 2007 Temat postu: Answer

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Lisa7480 · Wysłany: Wto 20:32, 06 Lut 2007 Temat postu: Tree

Brian9498 · Wysłany: Wto 19:09, 06 Lut 2007 Temat postu: suggest

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Pamela5129 · Wysłany: Wto 17:04, 06 Lut 2007 Temat postu: Reply

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oOo-Pigula-oOo

Taki "czarny humor", gdzieś kiedyś znalazłem Smile

1. Usiąść na zawiązującym buty kolesiu, myśląc, że to stół.

2. Spędzić 10 minut szukając papierosa na pogrążonym w ciemnościach parkiecie, tylko po to, by odkryć, że to kawałek szkła.

3. Postawić piwo na kolumnie, po czym obserwować, jak spada komuś na głowę.

4. Poprosić o coś „na kreskę” w barze i usłyszeć, że dokładnie o to samo prosiłeś tydzień temu.

5. Próbować otworzyć ścianę, myśląc że to drzwi do didżejki, a kiedy to się nie udaje, ze złości „poprawić z buta”.

6. Zaprosić na after party do domu kolesia o imieniu Mietek z tatuażami na plecach.

7. Odnaleźć się po imprezie w bloku na południowym Ursynowie słuchając happy hardcore’u wraz ze swoimi nowymi „przyjaciółmi”.

8. Radośnie zgodzić się, by odprowadzić dopiero co poznaną dziewczynę prosto po imprezie do sklepu, w którym pracuje. Spóźnić się godzinę i obserwować reakcję reszty personelu, czekającego na klucz, który jest w torebce twojej koleżanki.

9. Zaplanować sex po ciężkiej nocy w klubie, tylko po to, by przekonać się, że sprawy jakoś nie chcą iść zgodnie z planem.

10. Dowiedzieć się, że nie ma twojego nazwiska na liście zaproszonych gości, zdenerwowanym głosem oświadczyć: „Nie wiecie kim jestem?!”, po czym usłyszeć słowa bramkarza: „Tak, wiemy, i co z tego?”.

11. Po tym wszystkim zagrozić, że twoje koneksje doprowadzą do zamknięcia klubu.

12. Przez 10 minut przedzierać się przez zatłoczony parkiet, by pogratulować setu didżejowi, tylko po to, by skonstatować, że didżejka jest dokładnie po przeciwnej stronie.

13. Spędzić godzinę przy barze na popisach erudycji przed piękną nieznajomą, po to, by usłyszeć, że robiłeś dokładnie to samo i z tą samą osobą dwa tygodnie wcześniej (klub też ten sam).

14. Poprowadzić 10 osób przez parkiet tylko dlatego, że wydawało ci się, że po drugiej stronie widziałeś kogoś bardzo, bardzo znanego.

15. Zarzekać się, że to prawda. Naprawdę.

16. Wycinać solówkę na niewidocznej gitarze rano na parkiecie, będąc otoczonym przez zblazowanych gapiów.

17. Wejść w lustro myśląc, że to drzwi.

18. Zatracić się w tańcu przy pewnym utworze, by na drugi dzień uświadomić sobie, że to była „Makarena”.

19. Kupić buty w Londynie, po czym znaleźć je w każdej budce pod Pałacem Kultury. Za jedną trzecią ceny.

20. Robić poważne zakupy „dzień po” i wrócić do domu z torebką kisielu i bananem.

21. Wciągać nosem wódkę.

22. Zaprosić po imprezie wszystkich do siebie. Jakieś 150 osób.

23. Siedzieć na krześle na środku parkietu.

24. Iść do klubu, by „koniecznie posłuchać DJ-a X”, po czym przesiedzieć całą noc w barze.

25. Chodzić całą noc z pomalowaną farbkami twarzą.

26. Dziwić się dlaczego ludzie przyglądają ci się w porannym autobusie.

27. Przyglądać się przez 6 godzin odbiciom z kryształowej disco-kuli.

28. Ubierać białe rękawiczki.

29. Być przyłapanym na seksie w toalecie.

30. Pozbawić imprezę prądu próbując wyłączyć maszynę do dymu.

31. Spędzić pół godziny na rozmowie z jednym kolesiem, by nagle uświadomić sobie, że to nie jest ten znajomy, którym wydawał się być.

32. Wracać do domu w zimie bez skarpetek. Albo jeszcze gorzej.

33. Słuchać przez godzinę pewnej atrakcyjnej dziewczyny, by uświadomić sobie, że kompletnie nie wiadomo, o czym ona mówi.

34. Przerwać opowiadaną ci historię życia w najważniejszym momencie, mówiąc: „Przepraszam, muszę do kibla”.

35. Usłyszeć w szatni „To nie nasz problem”, kiedy okazuje się, że nie ma twojej kurtki.

36. Opowiadać głośno kawały w kolejce do klubu.

37. Znaleźć nowego przyjaciela w klubie i następnego dnia nie pamiętać jego imienia.

38. Zaproponować pomoc osobie, która – jak ci się wydaje – ma problem. Potem usłyszeć: „Odpie... się”.

39. Widzieć minę didżeja po tym, jak drugi raz potrąciłeś stół z gramofonami, co powoduje, jak wiadomo, skok igły.

40. Obrócić się i widzieć miny tańczących.

41. Myśleć, że jest się w autobusie i ktoś pyta o bilet, gdy tymczasem to twój kumpel pyta, czy chciałbyś się czegoś napić.

42. Nie móc przypomnieć sobie, gdzie zaparkowałeś samochód.

43. Przypomnieć sobie w taksówce, że samochód został pod klubem.

44. Postawić lampkę szampana na talerzu gramofonu, podczas gdy didżej zmienia płytę.

45. Nosić ciemne okulary w klubie.

46. Pomóc koledze didżejowi zdjąć płytę z gramofonu, kiedy okazuje się, że jest to ta, którą aktualnie słychać w całym klubie.

47. Wsadzać ręce w cokolwiek w promieniu dwóch metrów od didżeja.

48. Gadać całą drogę do taksówkarza w drodze do domu.

49. Wrócić skonany, usiąść półżywy na podłodze, otworzyć piwo, które eksploduje następnie na cały pokój.

50. Przysnąć w klubowej toalecie.

Magazyn Techno Party, nr 9

I kilka dodatkowych hardcore’owych sytuacji wziętych z życia sfazowanych klubowiczów Smile

51. Wyrzucić do śmieci swoją kurtkę, bo najwyraźniej musi być strasznie brudna, skoro wszyscy się na nią patrzą.

52. Zwrócić się do kolegi z prośbą o pomoc w poszukiwaniu własnych pleców.

53. Z uporem maniaka przekonywać pannę spotkaną przy wiszącym na ścianie w klubie alkomacie, że urządzenie to wykrywa również LSD.

54. Dać sobie zrobić na imprezie „tatuaże” na policzkach za pomocą niezmywalnego flamastra.

55. Będąc na afterze, zasikać gospodarzom całą łazienkę, nie mogąc trafić do kibelka. Oczywiście zapominając sprzątnąć po sobie.

56. Kupić w klubowym automacie całą masę prezerwatyw, nadmuchać je i rozdać do zabawy innym imprezowiczom.

57. Wracając z imprezy nad ranem w stanie lekko niepoczytalnym wydzierać się na całe gardło: „Aciiiiiiiiiid!”, po czym zostać oblanym miską wody z okna przez jakąś wnerwioną babę.

58. Po imprezie wybrać się na after na basen, i, zapomniawszy kąpielówek, usiłować wejść „na waleta”.

Dopisujcie dodatkowe punkty Wink